He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
