I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
