please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
