Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
