A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
