i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Its about making memories worth repressing
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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