I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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