I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
