The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
