1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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