I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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