why didn't you poke me back
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
