Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
