Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Randomize
