brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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