how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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