I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
