I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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