Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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