I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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