i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
