If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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