Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
