So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I believe in your delicious
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
