Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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