you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
And then my night got REAL pukey
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
