I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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