dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
