I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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