just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
