you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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