Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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