well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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