dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
