paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
