How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
