I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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