hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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