Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
