The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I want to fling myself into the sun
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
