i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
