So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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