tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
