Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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