My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
