i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
