I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
