cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
