the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
