You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
