am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
