just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
