Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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