i just had sex bonerless
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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