It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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