So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
