CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
