Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
