What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Randomize
