Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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