I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Bring me that man meat
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
