Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i can't believe i had my finger in that
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
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