do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
