i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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